If you want to hear an amazing, unbelievable, you might think I am a liar, story. Give yourself 5 minutes, it’s worth the read. It's all about that BIG MAGIC.
I honestly thought the last time I would ever see my guitar was when I was throwing everything out of the van to find my missing keys.
I took my guitar from my van, sliding off the mattress it had been laying on. I took it out by the side strap, and dropped it onto the patch of grass. Thud. I winced for a half second, and went back to looking for the missing pair of keys. My emotions of disappointment and impatience were on override at this point.
After taking nearly everything out of the van, minus the bed, I was over it. The other set of keys were missing, and that was to be that. I packed what I thought was everything back into the van, now trying to focus on getting over the key situation, and move on with it, hastily. I start to think that I better start paying attention to where I place my only set of keys now, or I am screwed.
Pay attention, pay attention, pay attention, I was scolding myself while driving to the coffee shop. I sat on my computer for most of that day, and by the end I was over the key situation.
It was dark, and time to leave. I got in my van, found a spot to park in the area I had been sleeping in the previous nights, and went to the back to start the curtain hanging process. I grabbed my key, and placed in the cup holder, telling myself to “be mindful”, “remember, the keys are right HERE now.
Okay, next, let’s get the guitar put away. “Wait. Where….. is my… guitar. ?
Here begins the berating at myself.
"Again? Seriously? Why can’t I pay attention? Why do I lose stuff all the time? What am I not learning here? Why can’t I be better?”
Those are the thoughts that kept me up most of the night.
Then, there it was; the question I had been looking for. Why can’t I be better?
I was trying to become better at stuff like trying to keep focus, to pay attention, to pick up and not forget, but the lesson was deeper than that.
I didn’t learn my lesson the first time, when panicking to find my missing keys. I was berating myself, talking down on my own soul and spirit. I was giving myself the wrong message.
I was giving myself a hell of a lot of unnecessary grief. I needed to be that opposite person, I needed to be my own friend. How could I become my own friend after I have lost the most important thing to me?
I also thought that maybe the universe was punishing me, because in my most previous conversations about playing music, all I can remember me saying is “Yeah, but it’s really a pain to carry around with me while traveling” Maybe it was time for a change, and the universe played well with that move, because it seemed like it was time.
It felt like I was going to be missing some memories that went along with that guitar. They were going to fade away, like the patch that lay on the front of it did. I had sewn that patch on the case when I first got my guitar. I placed it on with the roots facing upward, for a fun effect,and to remind myself that I can always uproot myself from any situation. I had remembered all the compliments and appreciations people had towards that patch, and it was good to hear. It was the last time I’d be able to tell that story.
It so happens my uncle whom I hadn’t seen in 10 years, was visiting the same time I happened to be passing through. He has been very supportive of my travels, adventures and the journeys I have, and I was really happy to be able to catch up with him. While saying our goodbyes, he gave me a big hug and handed me some cash, told me to go get some inspiration back.
A day later, I already had a new guitar. I was able to buy one on sale and play in the park for a few hours. That is when gratitude opened the door into my mind, and took a seat, just to hear the sweet music I was strumming. I was finally able to hear the nice things directed at me, instead of the harsh thoughts that had previously taken over.
It’s now been a few days, and even though I am back to traveling on my own again, I don’t feel sad over it.
WAIT, did you think that was it? Well, let me tell you, this photo above is not an old one. Funny thing is, when I was driving towards a grocery store today, something caught my eye. I saw a cart sitting on the sidewalk, unattended, with a bunch of stuff toppling over it. I looked at something that looked like my guitar patch as I was driving past the cart.I nearly broke my neck when I tunred around even more, and realized, that WAS my guitar patch! THAT WAS MY GUITAR.
As immediate as I could, I turned left into a parking lot, and ran around the block as if my life was dependent on it, and there it was. MY GUITAR.
I took the American flag that was secured around it, and placed it back on top of the over flowing cart of crap. I opened the case up to check, SHE WAS STILL IN THERE. My music, tuner capo, picks and capo were all missing, but WHO CARES??
I think my feet were still feeling the adrenaline, because all they wanted to do was run, but I had to contain myself. I didn’t want the people who were all watching me, from across the street and the people in the cars right there, to think I was stealing a homeless persons stuff, BUT the irony was, I AM HOMELESS and I was taking it back. My god, I was beside myself.
I started to jollily stride back down the sidewalk, guitar in hand, with the car full of people watching me. They all just saw what just happened. I am not sure what they were thinking though.
“He’s inside the grocery store if you are looking for him” the driver says, with a smirk on his face. Looking back to his friends who were all smiling. I tell him, “Long story, but, it’s my guitar. It’s been missing for a few days. The universe just gave it back to me. Bye!”
So now I have my guitar back.
Can you fucking believe this? I can’t. I’m still processing this whole thing.